Walk on..

It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time -Winston Churchill

And so I believe. I have spent days pondering on the what-next's. Sapping myself of all the enthusiasm and energy in the bargain. Only to stare at the ceiling blankly at the end of the day. I am sure, all of us go through this phase, some consistentnly, others - once in a while. Past few months have been testing. In all the possible areas. And managed to push me to the lowest ebb I have ever been at. Where everything seems stagnant, non-existent in an existential way. Empty. And I was wondering what next. There were so many things on my platter to take care of. But nothing, absolutely nothing seemed important than giving my own self some time off. How much, my mind asked. I don't know, I said, all I know is I need to find a way out. To what, it asked again, I don't know - I said, everything is a question mark and I am yet to unravel the content and cause of such discontent. You are fooling yourself, it told me; You are impatient basically and a victim of peer pressure. I said, peer pressure? Hell, there is none.. It has been ages since I even went out with my friends; I don't even know what anyone of them is doing at the moment. Exactly, Mind said, you don't want to go out to the world, you are harbouring a prejudice against your own self. you are impossible, I barked back, how can I hold a prejudice against my own self?

Hell you are, it continued. What stops you from going out, from being happy - atleast content, from looking at the improvements you have undergone rather than looking at things you are yet to achieve, from being thankful for having reached till here, for trusting that the journey is a long one and so it may just be the beginning or the mid, but surely not the end (someone said if it is not happy, then it is not the end, Mind winked at me). I can tell you a hundred things that are right at the moment, it continued, can you give me a hundred that are no so right with you right now?, and I started counting .. 1, 2, 3, 4... at the most 5.. apart from these, I was the most luckiest, I thought, and for a moment, I grinned ear to ear. I answered, I cannot give you 100, but I have 5 of them handy. Mind said, great, and are those consistently there or are there any additions/ substractions? I said, no, I think these are the only ones, I will be really happy if I can get these resolved.

And so it said, at the moment, 95% of your life is the way you love to have it.. and 100% of your conscious attention goes in thinking about the other 5%.. What kind of math is that, my friend? Hmmm.. good question, I said, I'll think about it.

Mind said, one meets his destiny often in the road he takes to avoid it, so, listen to your self and do not be afraid to tread the untrodden path. Having said that, wise make decisions, fools take risk, so know the difference between the two and walk on.

Walk on, walk on



What you got they can't steal it


No they can't even feel it


Walk on, walk on...

- U2

Virtual Realitiies

The rustling of a wild-bird's wings,
A star, a flower, a gush of rain,
The sight of sad or joyous things,
Oft makes me seem a child again:
With voiceless eloquence they come,
Bright phantoms of my childhood's home.

ROSA VERTNER JEFFREY, "My Childhood's Home"

When we were younger, say, 15 years ago, things were much more simpler and life was more beautiful. I knew what time to expect Dad to be home, Mum to leave for the market and would await the latest film on DD-1 every Friday. The latest movie would be the 80's Mithun Da hits, if it is vacation time or Old classics. Cable TV, as we'd call it back then, was a luxury few could afford. I remember, we used to get together during the Vacation time to watch Zee Horror Show at Pooja Aunty's house OR Nilesh Dada's house. Why only Zee Horror? Well, as kids, my gang had an eerie fascination with ghost stories, as for me, less said the better. I attribute my fear of darkness to the Ramsay's. But it was bliss. I remember Dad closing a part of the TV cabinet when advts. for grown-ups were shown. And the reason I remember this vividly is because I used to ask Mom, why does Papa close the cabinet at this advt. always? :) I was 6-7 years that time. Come June, and discussions were more about which color school bag would each one of us buy. And oh, before that, 2-3rd of June, each year, the showers would arrive in full pomp and show. When we switched over to Pens from Pencils, it would be more about owning the latest ink pen/ ball pen .. Gel pens and 0.5 nib pens were a big hit by the time I was in class 8. The concept of giving treats on occasions started by the time I was 12 years old and our first treat planned was a Maggi Party at 'E' building terrace. I remember Kavita Pachchi actually preparing the packets of Maggi we'd bought and Rasna to go with it. We were proud and felt grown up. Then came the friendship day celebration. Out of nowhere, on 10th Nov 199x (must be 6 or 7 at the most), we decided to chip in 5 rupees per head and have a grand party in Vaidehi's Gallery. We were about 10-12 of us and we bought slice cakes and rasna for the event. For music, we played Old Mc Donald's and a variety of such tunes on the electronic battery run piano, that one of us had (don't remember who it was). This was The party :)

At 13, we had planned our first ever new year's bash ( I remember the way my mom reacted when she first came to know it.. it was like - Party? at your age?? )

Apart from our 'parties', one more activity I vividly remember is the Miss India competition. The craze had just begun with Aishwarya Rai being crowned the new Miss World in 1994 and we had woken up to the concept of beauty pageants. And so, without fail, almost every other day, new addition to the list of our games was playing Miss World Miss World. We even had our very own Miss Summer Beauty Contest on Kanara House gachchi (terrace).

And the sort of activities that kept us busy in the evenings? LOTS! Pakda pakdi, kabbadi, kho kho in front of A building only, Lapaa Chhupi, Chor Police, BADMINTON, Langdi, Lagori, Aapaa Dhopi, tipri, Saakhlee, Zataapatee, Vish-aamrut so so so many. One Riot!! Come Ganpati/ Diwali, there used to be additional activities - Drama, Dance, Fancy Dress for Ganapati and Drawing Competition, Rangoli Competition, Cooking Competition, Handwriting Competition in Diwali.


9th-10th Class saw us girls growing up under KJo's influence totally. Giggles were whispered and 'Mere Khwabon mein jo aaye..' was the favourite song ;). Amidst all this, we also competed with each other fiercely when it came to academics. Sonali raised the bar for us when she featured in the Merit list of '98 SSC boards. I had my mum telling me, don't play with Sonali, try to gain some of her dedication too :)) And then there were study sessions at Pituli's house for scholarship exams and at pooja's/ sonali's house for school exams.

Since there were no mobile phones or internet in those days, we used to spend a lot of time with each other. That was the way to stay connected.

By the time I entered college, the concept of having mobile phones had arrived. But still, only office goers and high profile professionals had them. I couldn't have dreamt in those days that I could ever have my own mobile phone. So college was again, very naive and new. We used to look forward to meeting each other every noon. Plan outings, debate with our professors, participate in inter-collegiate competitions etc etc. One of the most memorable gifts I have had from the not-so-IT-savy era is the Gift of Books. Absence of Google, in the way it is present now, meant one had to literally scour through those hundreds of books in the library, make an effort, read them and then jot your thoughts on paper. And it was fun. It is while searching for some unrelated book altogether that I have come across some gems in literature (english, hindi and marathi), which have shaped my personality as it is today and which, continue to guide my thought process always. Books in hard copies also meant I could take them to bed while reading, can I do it with my laptop? Nah.. PC usage has in fact given me back-related problems.

Many such things, that were tangible, are today accessible and available in the virtual world. Did I say things? Let me add, today bonds are maintained through the virtual world. Facebook/ Orkut have redefined the communication pattern between two friends and our high-on-IT generation is celebrating the advent of Social Media. Much is being said and done and written about this already. But I find naivety and novelty missing. I don't see bruised knees, I don't hear ear-deafening squeals of laughter and victory and loss. I don't see afternoon siesta's exchanged for a game of Badminton on the ground. And innocence? It is lost even before one can spell the word innocence. That is why probably TV sets no longer come with cabinets, symbolic of the fact that everything is out in the open.

I just hope something happens and we wake up to the need of human presence and touch. The importance of having a laugh face to face than just exchanging smileys over IMs. The thrill of an outdoor adventure together than just facebooking/ farmville-ing/ yoville-ing etc etc.

Most importantly, I need to start writing letters again than just blogging.

Yes.................

:))

'I' love you

Ayn Rand says, to say I love you, one must first learn to say the I. In her classics, Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged, she painted a picture of a perfect man and a perfect woman. It has been 10 years since I first read the Fountainhead accidentally, and then lapped up Atlas Shrugged with a thirst unknown to me. These two books were to paint my whole self with colors that were only in my dreams somewhere. These books didn't teach me anything,they gave me the bricks to build on. Build on at my free will, build with berserk but unusually controlled imagination. And what fun I had, building it brick by brick, cementing further with lessons I learnt on the way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peter Keating: Do you always have to have a purpose? Do you always have to be so damn serious? Can't you ever do things without reason, just like everybody else? You're so serious, so old. Everything's important with you. Everything's great, significant in some way, every minute, even when you keep still. Can't you ever be comfortable--and unimportant?"

Howard Roark: "No."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Still building......

So long,

Slug

Stranger in you

You have an idea of my mind
And you probably know what my soul looks like
You can say when I cry or When I smile
Your absence can make moments long by a mile
You know the weakness of my heart
And you also can tame it, or point a dart
All the time I feel I know you somehow
But you remain a stranger of the now..

Your thought makes the heart grow fonder
And all the time I seem to wonder
Is this for real or just a phase
Or will it entangle me in a virtual maze?
All the time I feel I know you somehow
But you remain a stranger of the now..

Suddenly reality seems a joke,
Illusions make more sense than before
Convention is far from being present,
Calling upon intuitions to ascent
All the time I feel I know you somehow
But you remain a stranger of the now..

You are a friend, You are a companion
You are the guy-next-door
With each passing day, I feel connected to you more
But I don’t want you to turn into a lore
All the time I feel I know you somehow
But you remain a stranger of the now..

And back!

So, I get back to core strategy planning. I guess this is where I am destined to be. Whether I go west or east, north or south, I always end up at the core of Business Processes. Out of the blue, a Siemens vendor comes to know about Knovantage and before I know, I am working on restructuring his entire manufacturing unit. And, as before, there is a change involved here. For someone like me who has always been in the Services industry, manufaturing is more raw, complex and demands a lot of attention and FOLLOW UP! Manufacturing is more complex, needs apppropriate skilled workforce and demands a lot of controlled monitoring. Ironically, it is percieved to be the easiest of the processes to be managed, atleast by the process owners. Now whether it is percieved as an easy process or taken 'easy' is subject to people involved. Most important part - you can call it the backbone - is managing the information flow and timely analysis of all such information from input to dispatch. As a matter fact, most manufaturing units operate on hypothetical data atleast 35% of time. If at all, there are inconsistent means and ways of data collation and analysis. Further, efforts to derive a conclusion and apply it toward a business objective is a distant dream. All these shortcomings and more, make process - redesign a must in the manufacturing sector

April of 2000

I had just finished my SSC board exams and had my fill of movies that I had missed while I was preparing for my boards. We were going to shift out of the place I lived since I was born. Mixed emotions, career planning, scouting for commerce coaching classes dominated the April of 2000. In the last 16 years of my life, I had not had so much as a glimpse of the world outside Karnatak society; there was no need to. We were about a couple of dozen children, almost of same age. We had this huge gang that used to play, fight, dance, act, eat and sometimes sleep together. Sleepovers on Kanara Terrace or one of our friends' places were very common. I remember going for a sleepover party at a friend's place who used to live one flat away from mine. Still, that was quite adventurous for us. And of course, the nights used to be more of singing, antakshari, portion completion updates, what-you-want-to-do-after-tenth discussion and so on. They were WOW!

Coming back to April of 2000, it saw some major changes happening. Life twisting change (yes, it twisted my life, excruciatingly) was the decision to opt for Commerce than Science. My heart broke into a million pieces, some not to be found for a long time. I was to nurse my broken heart through the first year of my college. Nevertheless, the decision was made, much to my chagrin. I accepted. After weeks of protest, I accepted. But I was to never accept it totally. I remember going to my friend and telling her, 'Imagine, I am going to give up science! Aru, how will I live without it'. Aru said, commerce is good too, see, I am also doing it. I said, yes, but not good enough. I knew the discussion was in vain. What worth was its yield?

I applied to the best commerce colleges of those times and got through all. I chose Sydenham. Sydenham was a radical change for me. And I was allergic to change during those times. God knows how I had digested the change from Science to Commerce; add to it, this change. Luckily, I had a very close knit group of friends at college. So by the end of second month, I was beginning to be comfortable. Fared well in my mid terms, and well in my finals too. But as luck would have had it, the year 2001 brought one more life twisting change. I took up working full time, attended college only to appear for examinations and unsuccessful tried juggling both -studies and work. For the first time ever, I scored the lowest grades in my HSC. It tore me, I stared at the mark sheet for a minute, glanced at my watch - it was time for me to leave for work, and left for work. First Year Degree was ok. Kept terms for two subjects, which tore me again. It was in First Year Degree that I got my first BPO job at Infowavz. A change again. Work timings were graveyard shifts - 8.30 pm to 6 am. I used to leave home around 6.45 in the evening and return at 7.30 next morning. It was also during this time that I had my first brush with social gossip - oh, yamini? (sarcastically) she works at a call center, I wonder which decent girl will take up a job like that. But I couldn't care less. That job was paying me ten thousand rupees per month, a sum that no company would offer at that point in time.

Nonetheless, as I said, I kept terms for two subjects in First Year Degree and in the Second year, I kept terms for five subjects. My company couldn't grant me enough leaves for studies and examination. By now, I was used to the roller coaster ride in the academic arena, but when I had to keep terms for 5 subjects in Second Year Degree, I thought that was it. No studying further till I sort things and till I clear all the subjects I had kept terms for.

From 2004 to 2008, I cleared all the 7 subjects I had kept terms for, and appeared for my Final Year degree Bachelors of Commerce in the year 2009.

My academic credentials have suffered, but it has made me most adaptive to change. I won't deny that sometimes it does pinch me to have suffered in academic terms, but then when I look at the achievements against that, I think it is just a price I have paid. I choice I made. Not that it was in vain, it did yield something.

April of 2010

I am doing well professionally. My peers are at least 5 years elder to me. I have exposure to most management tools and methodologies. A Black Belt Certified Professional and an aspiring PMP candidate, I am preparing for my GMAT this year - after an attempt at being an entrepreneur. My mind has started planning measures to be taken to come at par with my peers in terms of academic standing. And so has a resolve evolved - no change is to change this.

Change Management

Ideally, I consider myself quite apt at managing change, so much so that I started my first venture providing change management consultancy. After working for about 8 years in Training, Quality Management and Business Re-designing related domain, I find myself ever so ready to get in Advertising; that too seriously. I am joining a leading ad agency as an intern first and then intend to chart out my plan of moving ahead in this sector post my intern-ship. And boy! I am no doubt looking forward to it, since entertainment media has been my area of interest ever since I can remember, but my heart tugs at me every once in a while to look at the 8 years I spent developing myself in a completely different domain.

This is going to be a challenge for me, at the age of 26, doing what I genuinely want to and succeeding at it. What I did for 8 years ,I did initially, out of necessity, and later since I had done it for so long. Strategy Planning had always been a part of my life - here or there. What is different here is that I will be dealing with emotions. Strategising them to achieve a goal - in this case an ad campaign. I am excited, as I was when I got my first promotion :) This is indeed promotion-like - from understanding numbers to understanding humans.